Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm bleeding and have questions
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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