its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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