do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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