It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize