Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I look better un-naked...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
