Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
