Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
