The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
