Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
