this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
