erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
