you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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