just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
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