Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Randomize
