hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize