I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
