last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
