I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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