My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize