Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
