I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
