I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
