Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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