lets start a swedish sibling band together
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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