I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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