He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
please don't ironically join a cult
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