When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Dicks are not precious.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
