Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Threesome in a minivan. New low
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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