if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
