Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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