we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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