maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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