just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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