She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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