Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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