Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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