help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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