Kiss
Puke
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
