I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
