Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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