he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
