Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Sorry about my life...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
