She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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