Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
