My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
