I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
