you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
we're so committed to being not committed
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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