Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
