WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
