he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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