Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
