so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Terrible idea I love it
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
