Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
