I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
